Alexa Fraiman
Mothers blogging and college students yakking: how could these topics possibly relate? That’s what I thought at first, but then I saw a connection. After reading Kara Van Cleaf’s “Our mothers have always been machines: The conflation of media and motherhood” and Francesca Tripodi’s “Yakking about college life: Examining the role of anonymous forums on community identity formation”, I realized both mothers and college students are in a time of life where their identities are changing. Both are trying to figure out how to manage their new roles as mothers and college students. They are expected to assess their surroundings at all times and adapt accordingly. In other words, they are involved in the process of attunement. As Van Cleaf explains, this is the “unending work of reading a situation and anticipating or altering responses to make sense of things” (p.g. 449). Today, mothers and college students use various online platforms to connect with others. It is helpful not to feel alone when you are trying to figure out how your identity is changing. But as Van Cleaf and Tripodi explain, mothers and college students also deal with the stress of trying to fit in while simultaneously being their authentic selves.
I started thinking differently about the role of mommy blogs after reading “Our mothers have always been machines.” Van Cleaf offers a unique perspective, explaining how motherhood and digital labor are more related than commonly understood. They both involve attunement and the work of care. Motherhood involves constantly monitoring your kids’ every move to make sure they don’t hurt themselves, tracking their sleep and eating schedule, and also mapping out their daily routines. Mommy blogs are places that help mothers manage this new role and identity.
They can share how they got through tough moments, offering advice to other mothers. There is a community that forms among mothers who blog.
After reading Van Cleaf’s article, it is clear how mommy blogs can offer mothers a community online, but one question that remains is what type of pressure is added to mothers’ lives as a result? When mothers blog and connect with other mothers, there is an expectation that they all should support each other. They do this by commenting on, reposting, and liking each others’ content. Van Cleaf refers to this as the labor of love. While having this community as a support system is beneficial, it also brings other people’s opinions into these mothers’ lives, some of which aren’t always welcomed. Certain societal expectations become emphasized in blog posts. At the same time, mommy bloggers also include vulnerable, real moments in their posts. A large part of becoming a mom means figuring out your new identity. Being a mommy blogger adds to this challenge as mothers face the added pressure to balance sharing content that fits societal norms with content that is more authentic.
Similar to mothers, college students are also in a time in their lives where they are managing their identity as they take on a new role. A lot happens on college campuses, from classes to events and everything in between. College students have to take in all this information and adjust their lives accordingly. They also are involved in a process of attunement. In “Yakking about college life,” Tripodi discusses how college students use the platform Yik Yak to connect with their community. Yik Yak is an app where people can post content totally anonymously and users are grouped into feeds based on the geographical region they are located in. With total anonymity, Tripodi explores whether or not users feel safe enough to play around with their identity. Many of us would expect this might be the case, but she reveals that students actually spend a lot of time thinking about others’ opinions before posting.
Tripodi highlights how college students post a variety of content on Yik Yak, mainly including topics that students think their peers will like. Some use the app as a space to share feelings that they would not in real life, though, like posting about their mental health. In response, many students reach out and let each other know that they are not alone. When you feel supported by your community, it is easier to be vulnerable.
On Yik Yak, there is a feature where you can choose to upvote or downvote content. Tripodi highlights how students carefully crafted their posts to get upvotes. This led to more students posting content that reinforced societal norms. I finished reading Tripodi’s article wondering if students would support getting rid of features like upvotes and downvotes. If they didn’t exist, would students feel more comfortable being authentic? College students are already in a time in their lives where they are trying to fit in, and engaging with social media only amplifies this pressure.
While many college students and mothers can relate to the specific examples described in these two articles, all younger adults, particularly those around ages 18-30, are navigating big shifts in their identity and discovering more about themselves. Reading these articles made me reflect on how much we as young adults have to balance being authentic with trying to fit in. As we can see with mommy blogs and Yik Yak, digital platforms expose us to more information and to more people’s opinions. There is an increased pressure to monitor your surroundings, so you can best adapt.
What remains the core motivator to use platforms such as mommy blogs and Yik Yak, despite the added pressure, is the ability to form a close community. Younger adults are in a stage of their lives where they are trying to make sense of their new roles and identities. Being in this stage of life is challenging and feeling seen, understood, and validated by others is essential. I believe that Van Cleaf and Tripodi both remind us that we are all just trying our best to navigate the complexities of life and process the excessive amounts of information around us constantly.